Today The Chicks released their new album Gaslighter, and I listened to the whole thing in one go this afternoon. And it was amazing. I’d forgotten how much I missed them. And any strong female group in country.
After the album was over, Google continued to play country music, and Sugarland came on with “Something More”. And it’s like 15 years ago they knew that someday, in the middle of a global pandemic, an over-worked mother was going to need to hear this. Maybe you need to hear it too.
Moving on.
Today I begin a new job.
I am now the Director of Digital Product Management at Herman Miller. I'm beyond excited for the role and the opportunities it brings. I feel tremendously privileged to be celebrating this personal accomplishment right now when so many are facing such loss and hardship. And I'm looking forward to working at Herman Miller directly, a storied company full of strong leadership and talented teams.
And today I leave Maharam.
Maharam is essentially where I grew up. I turned from a hot-headed sales coordinator to a slightly-more-patient manager of strategic projects. For me, Maharam molded what it means to show up at a job you are proud of, for a company you believe in. Down to every detail, I've learned how to be a part of a design company, and to continually keep pushing for progress.
For twelve years my Maharam colleagues have seen me grow and accomplish all sorts of feats, personally and professionally. They've thrown my baby showers, and celebrated my promotions, been my sounding board and my shoulder to cry on. They've accepted my worst and championed my best. I will miss them.
Luckily the move to Herman Miller, as the parent company of Maharam, is more of an apartment change in the same building than moving out entirely. In fact, I'll report to the same office! And I'm looking forward to a new challenge, leading a large team in a very progressive and fast moving area of the business. But, as my boss, the president of Maharam, said to me, “It’s hard leaving a place that holds so much of your heart.”
Answer the door
There are many hard truths we are facing right now as a society. Make sure you are opening your door, and your mind, to let them in. Find the facts, the history, the reality, and process that. And then let it guide your actions. Whether it's adhering to proper behavior in a pandemic, confronting systematic racism, opposing the deadly threat of the police state, fighting for basic healthcare coverage for all people, or what have you: answer the door.
(Note: “A prolific and widely respected poet, Lucille Clifton’s work emphasizes endurance and strength through adversity, focusing particularly on African-American experience and family life.”)
Juneteenth.
White folks,
Learn about Juneteenth,
Celebrate the freedom of all,
then Examine your own white history and white privilege,
and Dismantle the systems of oppression.
Let me know if you want to talk about it, or take action together.
Best,
Kristen
Justice for Breonna
In Louisville this March, Breonna Taylor was gunned down by police in her own home. Plain-clothes police officers, without a warrant, entered her home and opened fire. Read the full story here.
Not only were these officers at the wrong home, in the wrong apartment complex, and in the wrong neighborhood, the man they were looking for had already been arrested by their department early that day.
The officers involved have been placed on administrative leave, but there have been no arrests, and no charges.
Too long the deaths of black women have gone unnoticed. We must demand justice.
What you can do:
Sign the petition at https://www.standwithbre.com/
Write to the KY Attorney General and Mayor of Louisville, demanding charges be brought against the officers. Send a card in honor of Breonna’s birthday, which would have been this week.
Cards can be addressed to:
Office of the Attorney General Daniel Cameron
700 Capital Avenue, Suite 118
Frankfurt, KY 40601
Mayor Greg Fischer
527 W Jefferson St #600
Louisville, KY 40212Support the protestors in Louisville by contributing to their bail fund.
Keep bringing attention to Breonna Taylor’s story, and the story of so many black women killed by police. Follow and promote hashtags #justiceforbreonnataylor #sayhername and #listentoblackwomen
Additionally, follow black women who are centering black women’s inequality within the racial justice movement. Feminista Jones is a great person to learn from, including her book “Reclaiming Our Space: How Black Feminists are Changing the World from the Tweets to the Streets”. And Brittney Cooper is an author and activist who has written several great books, as well as this must-read article in Time.
Do the work.
The card I'm sending to the KY Attorney General, demanding charges be brought against the officers who killed Breonna.
Amplify
This week we see the results of hundreds of years of systematic racism exploding into protests across the country (and globe). The latest killing of a black man at the hands of police in Minneapolis sparked these embers that have long been burning. But for some white folks, this is one of the first times they are confronting the realities of the situation, how their lived experiences are very different from their black neighbors.
If you are a white person, you might feel outraged, overwhelmed, inundated, paralyzed by not knowing what to do. At the beginning of my journey, I did. Get over that. There are two ways to do the work of dismantling systemic racism. One is deeply personal - you must get to your own roots and see your own privilege and how you benefit, how you operate within this system, and get uncomfortable with the “blessings” you have reaped. The other is to amplify the voices and the work that has come before you. Do not center yourself. This isn’t about you.
Amplify, amplify, amplify.
I started my learning with Catrice Jackson’s work. She refuses to coddle or give accolades to white women, which is necessary for us to learn the hard truths about our position and privilege. Please also seek out the words and work of Layla F. Saad (Me and White Supremacy), Rachel Cargle’s The Great Unlearn, Britt Hawthorne (#antiracistbookclub), Ijeoma Oluo (So You Want to Talk About Race), and the many others who are doing their best to inform and educate. Diversify your feeds. And please be sure to pay these folks for their work - teaching us is not their burden.
Donate. Donate your money (which was earned through your privilege), donate your time, donate your resources. Find an organization doing the work in your neighborhood or community, or look for national organizations that are directly helping divert funds from police into communities (like Campaign Zero) or provide bail funds for black folks awaiting trial. Look into voter suppression in your community, and donate to Fair Fight. Amplify these organizations that are already doing the work.
If you can protest, get there. Put your white privileged body between police and black bodies. Amplify the black voices by standing silently with them.
You should already be patronizing minority and women-owned businesses in your communities. But if you are not, do your research to find them and support them.
Have the hard conversations with your white family and friends, and importantly, yourself. (Do not burden your black friends with your own outrage at this time, but do check-in with them and support them.) But it does not end at conversation. You must be a part of the solution in your community. Think through your decisions, use your privilege, and concede your space.
There is work to be done.
Your story
Lots of opinions circling these days. But it is important that we distinguish those as individual viewpoints, not facts. A good way to do that is to frame these views as a story, an anecdote. This makes it personal, and individualized, and much less aggressive. It also allows the listener to say, “that isn't my experience.” And many people like hearing a story.
A gift to bring
I've been listening to a lot of the Indigo Girls during the quarantine. They are the type of familiarity and kindness that I need right now. A bit of a gift to myself.
Singing in the dark times
These days, it is hard not to wish for things to be different. As much as I love my children, right now I see the life of my childless (or even single-child) counterparts, and I think of all the things I’d be doing with my extra time. To indulge my fantasies, I made a list.
What I’d be doing if I didn’t have kids:
Sewing masks for pregnant black women and new moms, so they can safely attend their doctor’s visits
Participating in digital activism for this year’s virtual Fashion Revolution Week
Planting a Victory Garden :)
Volunteering to do translation work for the Newberry Library
Mending all of my jeans
Reading Glennon Doyle’s Untamed
Napping
Cleaning out my basement (and finally sorting all those holiday decorations)
Avoiding other folks by playing night Frisbee on the boulevard (or just going on a run or doing a virtual yoga class whenever the mood strikes)
More of my Harvard homework…
But, as it turns out, I do have kids. And since I can’t wish them away for a couple hours a week, I really am trying to refocus my mindset. Of enjoying them being here, and being grateful for what we have.
There is always a thin silver lining, if you look hard enough. Small kindnesses, small joys. An 8-year-old helping his 5-year-old brother with letter sounds. The way the sunlight through the kitchen window changes from day to day. Friends giving away extra garden seeds, as they are in short-supply this year. The Instacart grocery order arriving with all the items you’d asked for. Spring flowers amidst all the rain.
And singing.
Tomorrow
Today was overwhelming. Many of these days are. This is my mantra. There is always room to try again tomorrow.
Spread Love, Not Germs
Right now we can’t physically have contact with others without potentially endangering them or ourselves. So the best way to spread love is small acts that can take place at a distance. Which fits into my usual routine of sending mail!
April is traditionally Write_On month, where everyone is challenged to send 30 letters in 30 days. While my schedule (full time work from home, plus full time childcare, plus crisis-schooling, plus my own continuing education) means I don’t have time to officially do write_on, I still plan to send as much mail as I can. Especially to those who I know are social distancing alone right now.
And, another way we are not spreading germs is to wear face coverings. The CDC recently reversed its previous guidance on masks, and now recommends covering your face anytime you leave your house. Since traditional masks are needed for healthcare workers, it is best to make your own. There are several patterns I’ve used (RagMask and Maker’s Habitat), but for those who don’t sew, there are also tutorials to use a bandana. Either way, best to line your mask with a non-woven layer (a coffee filter, a dry babywipe, or part of an air conditioning filter screen can all work).
Stay safe out there! And spread as much love as you can.
Output
Currently, many folks are home, trying to balance full time work and full time childcare, plus homeschooling/education of some sort. I’ve seen all the color-coded homeschooling charts, and all the articles about how to maximize productivity when your kids are at home (split shifts! easily accessible snacks! engaging activities!), as well as all the apology notes to coworkers and bosses written after the kids are in bed and parents are signing back on. Note: this balance isn’t unique just to parents - you mean you’ve been social-distancing for a week now and haven’t started quarantine journaling / apartment-Kondo-ing / manuscript writing / daily yoga live-streaming / bread baking? What are you even doing??
But this isn’t a sabbatical, or a contest. This time is unprecedented and unknowable. And indefinite. And everyone reacts differently. And while one answer is to get lost in productivity, that doesn’t have to be the only answer. Depending on your politics, you might in fact think that a focus on productivity and capitalism have exacerbated the current situation. (Many of the problems folks are currently struggling with - available and affordable healthcare, child care, time off work, fair and equal access to resources - are what progressives have been trying to solve for decades.)
And when society is not normal in two weeks, or two months, you might feel this even more. You might not have engaging or fulfilling projects at work. You might not have work at all. But regardless, you will still be a human person (as my son would say), and you will have not lost value.
You are not your output. Your worth is not measured by your productivity, for your household, your family, or your workplace.
Feel free to make it a mantra in the days and weeks ahead.