A couple holiday themed Procreate creations.
Holiday peace
It may be the holidays, but that doesn't mean we have universal peace and goodwill toward men. Consider donating to the Sentencing Project for justice reform, to help those get home who deserve to be.
We usually have a protest sign or two in our front windows. This year we made them seasonally appropriate. No justice, no peace.
kitchen tables
This year, Thanksgiving will looks lot like any other Thursday night in our household. We'll all sit around the kitchen table to eat a meal that mostly I prepared.
We are following the science-based advice to limit our gathering to our immediate household only, and to not travel. But we will make our version of the traditional foods, and hopefully have plenty of leftovers. We will also discuss our gratitude, and make a land acknowledgement to the native peoples who own the land we live on (thank you, Potawatomie, Ojibwa and Odawa peoples), as well as donating to their present day organizations.
But in many other aspects, we will just gather for a meal at our kitchen table, like we do any other night. We've had family meals every night at that table since the time there was only the two founding members. The table is in some ways the modern-day hearth of our family. We've always had the type where you can pop in a leaf to accommodate more guests at any time, or scale back to a cozy foursome. It's there we've revealed big news, discussed our wins, worried over our losses, and attempted to solve problems. It's where we work and where we play (now more literally than ever).
Mealtime shows how much our children have grown, as our oldest now lingers for a few minutes after the meal is over, to talk more with his parents. Someday perhaps all four of us will be able to stretch out the night with a cup of tea after dinner and prolonged conversation.
My dear friend recently shared a poem by Joy Harbro, a member of the Muscogee nation and poet laureate:
The world begins at a kitchen table. No matter what, we must eat to live.
The gifts of earth are brought and prepared, set on the table. So it has been since creation, and it will go on.
We chase chickens or dogs away from it. Babies teethe at the corners. They scrape their knees under it.
It is here that children are given instructions on what it means to be human. We make men at it, we make women.
At this table we gossip, recall enemies and the ghosts of lovers.
Our dreams drink coffee with us as they put their arms around our children. They laugh with us at our poor falling-down selves and as we put ourselves back together once again at the table.
This table has been a house in the rain, an umbrella in the sun.
Wars have begun and ended at this table. It is a place to hide in the shadow of terror. A place to celebrate the terrible victory.
We have given birth on this table, and have prepared our parents for burial here.
At this table we sing with joy, with sorrow. We pray of suffering and remorse. We give thanks.
Perhaps the world will end at the kitchen table, while we are laughing and crying, eating of the last sweet bite.
Our table is so much more than just a place to eat. It is a place where we live and recount our lives to each other. And for that I am thankful.
all votes
We are still watching this election unfold, as many states continue to count votes. One lovely part of a democracy is that everyone gets a vote - and so, we should respect each vote, like we respect each person, and count it.
There is much news that Republicans are attempting to stop vote counting in some areas and encouraging recounts in others. But at the end of the day, every cast vote should be counted.
Sally Kohn said it well:
I wonder if Trump voters realize we want their votes counted too. Dunno about you, but I want to win by persuading the majority of our fellow Americans that a just, inclusive and equitable future is the best possible future for all of us and our planet. Fair elections are essential to building a fair nation.
May we all play our part. Be kind and just to one another.
Discussing voting and kids
This week I was thrilled to join a new podcast Moms You Meet by sittercity, to discuss my thoughts on voting and engaging kids in the voting process. The podcast is about parenting in a pandemic and replacing a bit of the support system we might have previously gotten by chatting with other moms on the playground.
As everyone who knows me knows, I'm a big fan of voting, and civic engagement. I work the polls; I try to educate folks about how to vote; I advocate and fight for everyone's right to vote. And I hope that I'm instilling that in my children. It was great to be able to share some of that enthusiasm with two other moms, and hopefully a slew of listeners.
Please give it a listen.
Backyard Renovation!
Fall is here. And we are so excited to enjoy it in our newly renovated backyard space. Since we are spending so much more time at home, we decided to invest in our outdoor living space. It was a complete transformation.
This serviceberry tree is one of my favorite additions. In a year or two it will provide us some much needed shade in the summer months.
Before, with old door on garage.
Before, with an old metal pole used for a laundry line in a previous life.
Before, with the coop in the middle of the yard.
After, using the full width of the little yard.
After, with new new blue stone around the pedestrian garage door and relocated coop.
After, with coop next to the house and the yard opened up.
Although we usually do the work ourselves, we’d done sections of concrete removal before and were not looking forward to doing more. So we hired a crew. They took out a ton of old and broken concrete, and then laid a bluestone patio. There is now a raised bed along the north fence, which will be perfect for veggies in the spring. And since we are now using the full width of the yard, there is so much more lawn for soccer games and running through the sprinkler.
A big viburnum makes the transition from the raised bed to the spiral stairs, and offers great fall color. Surrounded by Amsonia (Blue Star) which will become little butterfly-attracting bushes.
Looking forward to this bayberry growing up to block the air conditioning unit from view. There are also several milkweeds that will hopefully attract butterflies next year!
“To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow.”
Be a voter.
Combining my love for handwritten correspondence (and USPS) with my dedication to civic engagement, I've been writing postcards to potential voters.
You can do this too. By visiting postcardstovoters.org or Vote Forward.
Comparison
Comparison is the thief of all joy. Whether we are talking about Labor Day weekend plans, or e-learning setups, or if your tiny backyard garden generated any edible tomatoes this year, your mental health is affected by comparing.
Instagram and other social media especially makes this hard. Instead of formulating the thought “I'm really glad that family could take in that beautiful sunset together”, it is easier to think “We haven't seen a sunset as a family all year! How do I find a place to catch a good sunset in this city?” Comparison makes it harder to be happy for others and content with ourselves.
Coupled with that is the current state of the pandemic, where different folks have different levels of access to safe places and different comfort levels being outside of their own homes. Seeing others can make us question our own choices or be disappointed in our own abilities.
In short, maybe give yourself more grace. Try to feel thankful for your own experiences and happy for others. As we know, they are likely feeling the same about you at some level.
Take care of each other.
Update your priors
These days we are all learning more salient information at a constant clip. Information about the spread of viruses, systematic racism, climate change, how a pandemic exacerbates inequality. If you aren’t learning, you aren’t paying attention.
But learning isn’t quite enough, we have to update our priors. This is Bayesian statistics shorthand for modifying your prior beliefs and knowledge based on new data. It’s okay to change your viewpoint, in fact, it’s necessary.
Bayes was an 18th century Presbyterian minister who also figured out a lot of math. Including an incredibly simple but powerful algebraic formula for the probability of events based on the probability of other events. But the key here is weighting those events/observations. As you learn more, you decide how much weight to give the new knowledge. You don’t delete or replace the old data, you just weight it differently.
Recently, Bayesian statistics got a headline in the New York Times for its use in epidemiology. (And the article includes a quote by my Harvard professor, Joe Blitzstein.) Among tech folk and data scientists, it’s also popular lately because of AI - including the type in driverless cars.
However, it turns out to just be good framework for a logical mind. Learn more, update your beliefs, then go learn more, repeat.
Ablaze
The other day a dear friend sent me a video of Alanis Morrissette performing a single from her new album on the Tonight Show. It was virtual, obviously, and the kicker was she sang while carrying her daughter on her hip.
We are all making sacrifices lately, and those with children bear a particular burden during the pandemic. And our children see the changes and the feel the stress, and our anxiety pervades their minds too. So Alanis’s newest song spoke to me very personally, acknowledging realities and identifying her priorities. She reminds me of my mission as a mother to my kiddos, as she sings about her own:
To my boy, my precious gentle warrior,
To your sweetness and your strength in exploring,
May this bond stay with you through all your days,
My mission is to keep the light in your eyes ablaze.
By encouraging her three kiddos that they can persevere even when conflict arises, she has encouraged me. Through all our trials this late summer into fall, and into who knows how long, may I remember my mission.
Something More
Today The Chicks released their new album Gaslighter, and I listened to the whole thing in one go this afternoon. And it was amazing. I’d forgotten how much I missed them. And any strong female group in country.
After the album was over, Google continued to play country music, and Sugarland came on with “Something More”. And it’s like 15 years ago they knew that someday, in the middle of a global pandemic, an over-worked mother was going to need to hear this. Maybe you need to hear it too.
Moving on.
Today I begin a new job.
I am now the Director of Digital Product Management at Herman Miller. I'm beyond excited for the role and the opportunities it brings. I feel tremendously privileged to be celebrating this personal accomplishment right now when so many are facing such loss and hardship. And I'm looking forward to working at Herman Miller directly, a storied company full of strong leadership and talented teams.
And today I leave Maharam.
Maharam is essentially where I grew up. I turned from a hot-headed sales coordinator to a slightly-more-patient manager of strategic projects. For me, Maharam molded what it means to show up at a job you are proud of, for a company you believe in. Down to every detail, I've learned how to be a part of a design company, and to continually keep pushing for progress.
For twelve years my Maharam colleagues have seen me grow and accomplish all sorts of feats, personally and professionally. They've thrown my baby showers, and celebrated my promotions, been my sounding board and my shoulder to cry on. They've accepted my worst and championed my best. I will miss them.
Luckily the move to Herman Miller, as the parent company of Maharam, is more of an apartment change in the same building than moving out entirely. In fact, I'll report to the same office! And I'm looking forward to a new challenge, leading a large team in a very progressive and fast moving area of the business. But, as my boss, the president of Maharam, said to me, “It’s hard leaving a place that holds so much of your heart.”
