Start

by Kristen DeLap


Feeling a bit behind in many facets of my life these days. So on my to-do list I've started to break things down into actionable items. "Sell old stroller on Craigslist" becomes  "get stroller out of basement". It isn't a new concept by any means, but it certainly does help get started. And provides some satisfaction to be able to check it off (even if the people who email me from Craigslist never actually show up.) 

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Find your tribe

by Kristen DeLap


Your people fuel your power.  

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Also it's Miniatures Week for Calligrabasics on Instagram, so I'm trying some tiny lettering! 

Edit June 2020: I should not have used the word tribe here, as it is a word that has been appropriated from indigenous people by white folks. When white people use tribe in reference to their squad/circle, it white-washes indigenous people and degrades their cultures and traditions. Indigenous people all over the world have fought and are fighting their own governments to gain recognition as a tribe or nation. White people should not so carelessly and flippantly use native language, as I did. Instead of removing this post, I’m editing it as a lesson for all readers.


Do Our Best

by Kristen DeLap


Modern advice columns are questionable in terms of content, but Real Simple magazine's Modern Manners has a good answer or two in every issue. Catherine Newman doesn't shy away from the hard answer, when necessary shining the spotlight on redefining the problem, instead of just providing a proper etiquette solution.  For August, her answer regarding a theatre experience with "a man who happened to be very large...spread out into my seat and also fidgeted" was spot on. The questioner asked how she should have handled this without embarrassing the man.

Catherine responds:
It sounds as if you were frustrated that your long awaited experience was less than ideally comfortable. That was surely true for your neighbor as well.... To quote the brilliant writer and fat-acceptance advocate Lindy West: 'If you think fat people are 'the problem' (and not, say, airlines hoping to squeeze out an extra $200 million a year in revenue, or consumers who want cheap airline tickets without sacrificing amenities), you are penalizing a significant number of human beings emotionally and financially for a disease or disability that already complicates their lives.' In other words, your seatmate could do nothing about his size and the theater's lack of space. And you should have done nothing but muster some compassion. What was a three-hour one-off for you is a daily occurrence for him - and in a culture that makes it very uncomfortable, in every way, to be fat. You could have spoken with the manager about seat reassignment or written a letter to the theater explaining the trouble with its seating and how that undermined the show. But, really, it's a difficult world, and we can only do our best to ease each other's passage through it.    

What an eloquent response and a reminder to us all in so many situations.


Justice

by Kristen DeLap


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While many of us feel helpless in our privilege, in fact we are the ones who have the power to help this change.

Be vocal. Talk your white friends and colleagues and community and let them know how outrageous the rampant hate and systematic racism is.  

Share this video from Trevor Noah, who states it quite well that we can be pro-cop and pro-black, respectful and supportive of law enforcement and the people they are sworn to protect. 

Vote.  

Call the police in your area and ask what types of de-escalation training is offered on an ongoing basis to all officers. 

Stand with black comrades at rallies and marches.  

Be introspective. Think about how subtle and systematic racism have benefited you, or how you might have been complicit in it previously. Change your behaviors and help others do the same.  

Keep the dialogue open. It's a difficult and important one. But it is not a black person's burden to educate you. Educate yourself.  

Teach your children. #blacklivesmatter